Fascinated by Fascinators

I confess to ignorance and malaise about ladies hat fashions. I was aware that QE2 always wore a hat, possibly in place of a crown. Outrageous chapeaus are also sported on female heads at the Kentucky Derby and at Ascot's race.

At AME & some other churches, African-American women have kept milliners in business. (The greater number of women in this country prefer to go hatless.) Cool.

I didn't know the hats perched at odd angles on stylish women were called fascinators. Alas, my time spent watching the Kate & William wedding was not wasted. I learned about fascinators.

The cute little feathery thing my daughter in-law wore for her wedding was probably a fascinator but I never heard the term used to describe it. Her's was beautiful.

Some of the commentators on the royal nuptials were not kind in their appraisals of the hats worn by Prince Andrew's daughters, Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice. The hats were so startling that no one bothered to remark what a weird dress one of them was wearing. I'm not sure if this is all about shock value or looking good. I hope it was shock value because I think they fell short in the looking good catagory.

While designers are busy in sweatshops cranking out lace-topped wedding dresses, likely some Chinese workers are heaping birds and flowers and other stuff on hats. I want one for Halloween. The weirder the better.

Pictures: American pop-princess Sarah Jessica Parker and the Real Princesses in Fascinators.

What Kate Middleton and I had in Common

We are / were both "commoners". Her status has been elevated to princess now so we no longer have that in common. He sirname was Middleton and my blog handle has a similar sound. "In-the-middle." Close enough?

I didn't set my alarm to get up at 4:00 A.M. to watch the televised nuptials from London. We did catch the kiss on the balcony. I was surprised at the simplicity of her wedding gown and veil. Perhaps that is due to memories of the pouf 'n fluff of Princess Diana's dress and train.

Kate is a modern bride. This past week media has tutored the masses on the lifestyle of Britain's most famous newlyweds. She cooks. He puts his own toothpaste on the brush unlike his father. No servants. They lead an ordinary life and will live in a five room cottage in Wales.

Barbara Walters said Kate's family didn't meet the queen until last week. QE2 has a very busy schedule. One can only imagine how the Middleton's felt anticipating that. I remember some trepidation meeting our kids future in-laws. For the first son we ordered 9 yards of rock and relandscaped the house. For the second one, we replaced torn screens and touched up the paint indoors. For the third one we replaced a sliding glass patio door. I think it must have been a lot more work for the Queen to get Buckingham Palace ready to meet the Middleton's. I am sure she had help and then she is only the grandmum, not the parent. I am sure she made a good impression.

The US threw off official royal ties when we rebelled in 1776. We kept some unofficial sentimental attachments to the British. No one does pagaentry like England. Even if America's substitute royalty (movie stars) get adulation when they marry, no one would have a spiffy red military uniform to wear when they marry like Prince William wore. Michael Jackson might have pulled it off, but he wasn't interested in marriage. Our military uniforms are more conservative. We are more practical and discovered it is easier to defeat our enemies in battle if we sneak up in camo than march into battle in red. Maybe that is why we must defend the whole world.

If It Quacks Like a Duck is It Aflac?

The horror of hundreds of deaths from tornados in the south is constantly on the news today only to be softened by gossipy chatter about the anticipated royal wedding. Both of these blockbuster stories almost overshadowed news that Aflac has chosen the new voice of their duck. He lives about 10 miles north of us and is a guy who does voice-overs who has hit the jackpot with his quacky version of the company name.

Aflac. We all recognize it. Before the previous guy was fired for making insensitive remarks about Japan's disaster, I didn't even know who did the duck's voice. Comedian Gilbert Gottfreid had that gig. Here's hoping the new guy will be "Minnesota nice" and not offend.

I did a blogsearch to see what people were saying about the Aflac duck. One of the sites was by a blogster named Kyle Affleck who happens to sell supplemental insurance. Yup, he sells Aflac. If I were him, I would have practiced my duckvoice and applied to be the new spokesduck. Maybe he did. Competition was fierce. 12,000 applied.