FAT CHANCE

The FDA has officially approved allowing the prescription drug Xenical’s release as an over the counter drug. Beginning in late summer the drug will be marketed as Alli. There are now many supplements claiming to bring about rapid weight loss. Most are considered food supplements and not under the jurisdiction of the FDA. Many claims made are outrageous and only separate desperate people from their money not their excess pounds. The action of this medication (Alli) is to block absorption of 25% of fat consumed leading to weight loss. It only works as an adjunct to exercise and a calorie reduction diet.

I have read estimates saying ¾ of Americans are overweight. Of these many are obese. In the interests of public health and safety, yes safety we need to attack this problem. The public health part is obvious, but who do we think are going to serve in the armed forces to defend our country if so many of our children are obese?

Because this has such an impact on national security the government might consider giving a tax credit to obese people who use Alli. To make this a “win-win” deal, perhaps some resource recovery benefiting the public treasury could be attempted. Think about it. If 25% of the fat consumed is not being absorbed where is it going? Yup, right down the plumbing. With 75% of the people overweight that could be a lot of fat. Instead of oil slicks in the Mississippi and greasy residue on the beaches, might we recover some of this resource at the water treatment plant? There you go, another biomass renewable fuel source. This might help keep the price of corn down so Mexicans could afford tortillas again.

The product comes with a caution that it may cause gastrointestinal effects such as loose stools. Consumers would need to be warned not to use the medication and consume White Castle “sliders” concurrently. Persons with these side effects may need to resort to using NASA’s maximum absorbency garment AKA the space diaper. (Remember the recent incident of the female astronaut involved in mayhem who wore a space diaper so she could drive from Texas to Orlando without a pit stop? I’ll bet NASA does not appreciate this publicity about our heroes wearing diapers.)

I may get my Xenical or Alli before the EPA does an environmental impact study and decides all this oil in the water is a threat. One can imagine a catastrophe if we had another flood on the Mississippi and a giant oil slick invaded New Orleans sliding what was left into the Gulf of Mexico. While they are at it I hope the EPA checks to see where NASA is disposing of those space diapers while in orbit.


PS Walked 4 1/2 miles today on the track. Still need to go to the gym. Doing okay.