Hopping Down the Funny Trail

One of the morning "news" shows just had a guest touting kangaroo meat. The catch line (not exact quote, but close); everytime a prius owner drives to the market to buy meat it cancels out the savings in emissions.... was a grabber. Not that I have a Prius. Not that I am that worried, but what ???
His point? Ruminants produce methane gas. I don't think he blamed cows specifically but we knew what he meant. Maybe he learned the "Oprah lesson". Don't disparage beef on national TV. Remember her lawsuit in Texas a decade ago? She did a show about unsafe beef and it didn't go down well with beefraisers. Apparently it is safer to blame ruminants.

http://www.cnn.com/US/9801/21/oprah.beef/

Gas. We blame the cows for producing methane clouds. Surprisingly the food police haven't come after people who burp in public---yet. One must tred lightly here. Wouldn't we need a Gas Czar and who would want that job? Would it be a gas tax or a fine?

In Minnesota we are serious about protecting the pork industry. We grow pigs like Texas grows steers. When we found pigs with H1N1 they blamed people for passing it to the pigs.

If you buy that ruminants are causing global warming and oinkers and birds carry flu we might want to do what the guy on Good Morning America suggests and eat kangaroo meat. It is probably another import and eating food grown closer to home is fashionable.
Does that mean we would have to build kangaroo feedlots in Kansas or have roos grazing on the range?
What would you call the guys on horses who round them up?
How high would the fences have to be?
Would they put up signs like the deer crossing signs that warn motorists?
Wouldn't those slaughterhouses be interesting with all that hopping and kicking. A kangaroo can take you out with its' tail.
Wouldn't truckdrivers get hazard pay for transporting a live load of kangaroos?

I think I'll stick to beef and pork. I may even drive to the store for my purchase.