So You've Had a Bad Day --Part 2

I was up way too early today again, earlier than the paper "boy" delivered the paper. I read my favorite column, the Bulletin Board in the St. Paul Pioneer Press online. I laughed so loud I thought I might wake my husband. I thought you might like a good laugh. Here is is:

A day in the life
Reports Katharine With One Dog Only (verbatim - including: WARNING! Threats to contented dining ahead!): "Friday April 13, 2007:
"Mug slipped out of hand and 16 oz. of hot coffee spilled on kitchen floor. Slipped on coffee and banged knee on corner of refrigerator. Turned on work laptop and got the blue screen of death (hard drive crash). Switched to Mac desktop and got the bomb icon (hardware failure). While on hold for IT help desk, grabbed throwaway plastic container away from playful dog and cut right palm near thumb. Out of Band-Aids. Out of Kleenex. Out of paper towels. Used shirt. Dragged suitcase downstairs and left wheel came loose. Wrapped duct tape around wheel, around socket, up through support bar, and back around wheel to correct. Drove to airport. After security check, walked carefully in unlaced sneakers over to plastic chairs. Tripped over left lace. Dropped briefcase on feet of small Chinese woman. On plane, seated next to hairy man audibly sucking pencil and smelling of patchouli cologne. Remembered iPod. Forgot headphones. Ate sandwich from home. Started feeling ill. Arrived Ronald Reagan airport. Knelt on floor of restroom stall and threw up. And threw up again. Only 3 inches of toilet paper left on the roll. Got in cab driven by man smelling of patchouli cologne who wished to discuss all sides of question why Minnesota says 10,000 lakes on license plates when there are really 12,243 lakes or 12,432 lakes or 12,342 lakes. Hotel desk manager asked would you like to check in. Replied would like to throw up. Knelt on floor of employee bathroom stall and threw up. And threw up again. At door of hotel room, gave bellman two $10s instead of two $1s. Lay back on bed and cracked head on headboard. Struggled to open bottle of water with very tight cap. Re-opened cut on palm of hand. No Band-Aids. No Kleenex. No paper towels. Used shirt. With other hand, pulled covers over head. Fell asleep."