Losing the weight wasn't that hard. As I had suspected (from experience) the real problem is keeping it off. I fell 15 or 20 lbs. short of my goal but stopped "dieting" in December. Since that time I have gained and lost 5 -6 lbs. seven or eight times. Doesn't that mean I have lost and found another 35 to 40 lbs? Struggling on, I have had the grace to get it back in gear until lately. I regain very easily, for example: if I eat the whole meal served in a restaurant I will weigh five pounds more the next day. I think it is mostly a fluid shift but I find it demoralizing. I know people say put away the scale. I wouldn't dare. Over two weeks of bad eating I regained 15 lbs. Two days of dieting and I lost 10 of it but have an extra 5 to chase to get back to where I was in December. I still haven't lost the 15 or 20 I wanted to lose.
I am trying to cheer myself up. I am walking more now that it is nice. I am my own worst enemy most of the time. I eat when bored. This morning I was at Curves and noticed the name of a woman who had won a contest at Curves. Her name; Hope Lean. Hope lean. I think I will change my name. No more plain Jane. How about "Disciplined Jane"? or "Thinner Jane"? When someone asks me my name I will say, "I am Thinner". I believe in the mind connection to outcomes. I think I will be Thinner.
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