Condomania

We reserved a beach condo yesterday on Fort Myers Beach, Florida for the second week in December. We usually "travel", not staying in one place very long. After renting a house in Key West with friends for a week two years ago, we realized that is a more relaxing way to go. We are looking forward to some gorgeous sunsets (beach faces west toward the gulf) and relaxing days. After I retired I stopped at work to visit and mentioned we were going on vacation. I got grief from one of the Docs who informed me that you can't go on vacation when you don't work. Vacation from what? It is all vacation. Yup, it is, but Florida looks good as it gets colder.

Parenting 101

I attended a baby shower yesterday for a young lady we have watched grow from a gangly, long legged girl into a beautiful young lady. She married last year and is now ripely pregnant with their firstborn. We played ice breaker shower games and then were asked to write a serious piece of advice about child rearing on a note card for the soon to be new mom. Great idea. Among those attending were relatives, long time friends of Kelly's mother, and a lot of church people. I knew the bunch from church were a pretty fun loving group and soon picked up the grandma-be's friends were just as light hearted. Wondering what kind of wisdom she was going to glean from this mess of moms, I asked the group what they had written. We never got past the first one, her mother's advice; "Always be sure you have the child's carseat actually attached to the car." The mother then told her tale of not properly securing her first child's carseat and having to stop quickly on the freeway. Baby (still in the carseat) tipped over face down in the backseat. ) I asked if there was a sign that said, "BABY USED TO BE ON BOARD". All was well in spite of the mishap, except for one distraught mother. This spurred stories of traveling with children years ago. With our first three children there were no safety carseats. Everyone had a booster type car seat that sat on the bench seat of the car. No restraint. This just elevated the kid so they could see out the window and made it easier for the parent who placed the kid and seat in the middle of the front seat to attend to the child. The trifecta of safety violations: an unrestrained child, in the front seat (up high), and a distracted driver who reached for fallen pacifiers and toys or dug graham crackers out of her purse. It is amazing so many of our children survived. Another horror story was told by an older mom who said her nieces and nephews always traveled standing on the front seat. When she took them she insisted they sit down. No seat belts and air bags weren't invented yet. On one trip a child opened the front door as she turned a corner. I guess child safety locks weren't standard either at that time. On auto trips our three kids often stood on the back seat to see. Another person I know remembers a sibling who would sleep in the back window of the family car. My husband would sit our oldest son on his lap when he was about two and let him steer the car. (Done on back roads at a slower speed).

Last week NBC evening news did a segment on "The Nanny State". Some think our government has passed too many laws trying to protect children. Playing dodge ball or tag on the playground is not allowed in some states. There are many protective laws raising questions about whether we are allowing our children to enjoy their childhood. Some people even put a car restraint on the family dog. The people who authored these laws must have heard about some of the mothers at the shower.

Kelly better let someone take a look at some of the other bits of advice given before implementing them.

Love Stories

Everyone has life stories to tell and there is a movement to have older people record their memories. What happened in your life between birth and death? Those dates are all that will be on your tombstone. Last summer I wrote my memories of my childhood and my relationship to my sister. Ripples have spread out and energized my brother in-law's family to begin recording their history. With their mother's recent death, his family is probably more introspective and more memories surfaced.
What surprised me about writing my story was with time harsh memories soften and good memories sweeten. I tried to force feed the book to my grown children but realized they will be more interested in years to come when they are my age trying to make sense of life.
A couple days ago I had a younger cousin die suddenly. In the past year I have seen many old friends, some work friends, die. About half were younger than I am. Several died unexpectedly. I hope they told their stories, or someone they love recorded their thoughts about them.
I was listening to MPR this week when they were playing excerpts from the Storycorps project. It was a project that used a recording booth in Grand Central Station train depot to allow everyday people to tell their stories in a limited time. They have over 16,000 stories catalogued and have now published a book. Many New Yorkers impacted by 9-11 are included. The tales vary. If you have never heard of it, browse the site of the link below. My favorite that they played on the radio was the love story of Danny and Annie. It was a good reminder to be thoughtful and kind and loving everyday to those we can easily take for granted in our family.
http://www.storycorps.net/listen/?s=danny+and+annie

Time Travel

In Remembrance

On Sept. 28 I blogged about visiting my aunt, the only surviving sister of mom's six sisters, in a nearby small Wisconsin town. I hadn't seen her for a few years. Since she had moved in recently within the town, we were unsure of her address. Plum City is a tiny town of just hundreds and we were pretty confident we could find her by asking locals. On the way we stopped at the cheese factory in Ellsworth, the next town. Leaving, we were surprised to be stopped by my cousin John and his wife who spotted us. That is Aunt Marcella's son. It was good to see him and his wife. He is newly retired and they were in their RV headed for a weekend camping trip with their kids and grandkids. He gave us directions to his mom's (Aunt Marcella) house and her phone number. Then they called ahead and we were greeted by my aunt as we got out of the car.

Yesterday afternoon I got a call from my mom's younger brother's wife. "I have bad news", she said. I thought of Aunt Marcella. Yesterday was her 86th birthday. "No, John died suddenly", she said. He was 60. He was found "down", no cause of death known, but his father died of heart problems in his early 50's. That family has had such sadness. Two of John's younger brothers had wives who died from cancer several years ago. One was in her 40's and left an elementary-aged son. His younger sister has lymphoma. Now his death. It struck me again when I last saw him how much he looked and sounded like his dad.

I notified my sister who reminded me his name was John Wayne. Born in 1947, a good strong name for a firstborn son. He was also a quiet man. Responsible. Friendly, but quiet. Tall, handsome, deep voice. A tribute to his dad and his namesake John Wayne. His career was management at the nuclear power plant in Red Wing. He seemed a good fit for the job. Serious. Trustworthy. A good son and father and husband. Sadly he died too young, like the other John Wayne.

SENT WITH LOVE

An uplifting daybrightner. A father's love letter--Watch video with audio on.

Link: http://www.fathersloveletter.com/flltextenglish.html

Happiness Is a Warm Puppy

A warm puppy and a snuggly baby. It was a "Three Dog Night" last night. Temp was predicted to drop to 29. Without central heat, or a good goose down comforter, it would take three dogs to keep you warm in bed. I started the oven cleaning cycle on my range when I got up and am toasty warm in the kitchen as I do my blog.

The "happiness is a warm puppy" thing originates with Charles Schultz. A new biography is out. PBS did a special with his biographer. He paints a picture of a deeply introspective, sometimes depressed man. Maybe he had his problems emotionally but left a wonderfully warm legacy of Snoopy and Charlies Brown and friends.

My husband's father (also an artist, sometime cartoonist) was a friend of Charles Schultz. Roman gave him his first job in the art world and Sparky showed his gratitude his whole life. The job was a minor job doing the lettering for the bubbles in a cartoon strip, but at the time encouraged the young Schultz that his dreams could come true. He gives credit to Romie in his autobiography. They talked from time to time on the phone. We have photos taken of the two of them and sometimes someone else in our family with Sparky. When my mother in-law and sister in-law were sick, he sent an original art cartoon of Snoopy with a personal message. To our disgrace, we sold them. It is a hot market for those collectables.

What I will remember about the kindness of Mr. Schultz are the calls he made to cheer up my father in-law in his final years. Romie was depressed too, but a call from old friend Sparky did a lot to brighten his day. Now we know he probably did not feel very cheerful himself. It says a lot about looking past oneself and reaching out to others. Share the love and if you have a warm puppy be thankful and maybe share him with someone too.