Osama bin Laden's Compound

We were duped. For almost ten years while we had bin Laden on the run, we thought he was living in a cave. We felt better thinking he was huddled in a sleeping bag eating goatmeat cooked on a kerosene stove and drinking water fetched from streams. We were glad he didn't have central heating or modern plumbing. We hoped the chilly winter winds blew hard and spring melting flooded the cave.

We were duped. Osama was living in a palace called "The Hideaway". Pakistani officials knew nothing about it. He was living in a fortress among retired military officers down the road a piece from their premier military training school and they didn't notice a thing. They didn't notice him hiding 35 miles from their capitol city. He didn't raise suspicions when he retrieved his morning newspaper wearing sunglasses. No one was puzzled when it was the only palace on the block that didn't come out for the annual block party picnic. No one questioned why there was barbed wire on the top of 18ft walls around the place. No one wondered why it was the only house on the block that didn't answer the doorbell when Girl Scouts came selling cookies. (Everyone else in the world wants those cookies.)

Libya's president what's-his-name (Quadafi, Gadaffi, Kadaffi??) had us thinking he lived in a tent. You don't hear of NATO bombing any tents, do you? We are not going to be duped twice. Bombs are now taking out palaces in Libya. We're not buying that Tent City story even if that is how he mislead the world when he tried to campout in Central Park in NYC when he visited the United Nations and gave that rambling monologue. We didn't let him pitch his tent in the park .

Better duck, Mr. Gadaffi. Better get nervous if you hear helicopters whirring.

Thank you, Brave Men of the Navy Seals

Birther Blues -or- I Am What I Am and Who I Say I Am, I Think

Never thought I would feel sorry for The Donald, but he had to sit and take it at the White House Correspondents' Dinner in DC this weekend. President Obama stuck him with a few sharp barbs about the birther issue. The Donald didn't seem amused. Not sure I would get in a sparring match with Mr. Trump, but he did start the fight.

I was amused to read Joe Soucheray's column in the St. Paul Pioneer Press this morning.
His title reads: "I, too, have a birth certificate mystery--if I am even me."
The story that follows is that he did not find out until decades after he was born that his birth certificate spells his name Soucherey and he spells it Soucheray. For those who don't know Joe Soucheray, he is a local newspaper colmnist and has a radio talk show that is humorous and conservative.
When he found out about the discrepency in spelling of his name, his wife (joked) that she probably had grounds for annulment. Then she said, "If The Donald gets ahold of this, you'll be ruined, finished." That left me laughing. I don't think The Donald did himself any favor backing that horse. My opinion. Your's may differ.

I have found over the years when I laugh at someone elses problems or dilemas, I usually find I have trod on the same path. My mom told me that when I was baptised, the priest insisted on baptising me "James" instead of Jane. He did not think there was a St. Jane and he strictly enforced having a saints name for the child. Hopefully, I won't have a hard time getting past St. Peter at the pearly gates. I don't know if my patron saint is St. James the lesser or St. James the greater.

In the meantime, I will echo Popeye's line: " I am what I am."

May Day

May Day. This holiday isn't important in the US, but widely observed in European countries. We arrived in Germany on May 1st a few years ago and saw Maypoles in almost every village.

I grew up Catholic and memories of May Day involved church and a procession of children strewing flower pedals followed by clergy carrying a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary. May was observed as her month. I don't know how far back that tradition goes, but remember learning the Catholic church emphasized the Marion holiday to counteract Communist observance of May 1st. That was the day the soviets paraded their armaments in Red Square.

May Day has a long history and was a pagan celebration of spring in pre-Christian times. Roman culture observed it as a holiday to the pagan goddess of flowers. Druids celebrated springs arrival. In the 19th century a focus on laborers observing it began. Remember Karl Marx and "workers of the world unite"? It is still a labor day in many countries.

I found some local observances for May Day. There is an Immigration March for Emancipation. Don't think we will do that. Minneapolis has a parade in one neighborhood park. No doubt wiccans or warlocks or Charlie Sheen are having another party. We are just going to go to church. I don't think there is anything special going on.

I will continue to think of May day, may day as an urgent call for help. That is the message you send when your ship is sinking. Perhaps saying may day, may day is getting more appropriate. Sure haven't heard too much good news in this country lately.

Fascinated by Fascinators

I confess to ignorance and malaise about ladies hat fashions. I was aware that QE2 always wore a hat, possibly in place of a crown. Outrageous chapeaus are also sported on female heads at the Kentucky Derby and at Ascot's race.

At AME & some other churches, African-American women have kept milliners in business. (The greater number of women in this country prefer to go hatless.) Cool.

I didn't know the hats perched at odd angles on stylish women were called fascinators. Alas, my time spent watching the Kate & William wedding was not wasted. I learned about fascinators.

The cute little feathery thing my daughter in-law wore for her wedding was probably a fascinator but I never heard the term used to describe it. Her's was beautiful.

Some of the commentators on the royal nuptials were not kind in their appraisals of the hats worn by Prince Andrew's daughters, Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice. The hats were so startling that no one bothered to remark what a weird dress one of them was wearing. I'm not sure if this is all about shock value or looking good. I hope it was shock value because I think they fell short in the looking good catagory.

While designers are busy in sweatshops cranking out lace-topped wedding dresses, likely some Chinese workers are heaping birds and flowers and other stuff on hats. I want one for Halloween. The weirder the better.

Pictures: American pop-princess Sarah Jessica Parker and the Real Princesses in Fascinators.

What Kate Middleton and I had in Common

We are / were both "commoners". Her status has been elevated to princess now so we no longer have that in common. He sirname was Middleton and my blog handle has a similar sound. "In-the-middle." Close enough?

I didn't set my alarm to get up at 4:00 A.M. to watch the televised nuptials from London. We did catch the kiss on the balcony. I was surprised at the simplicity of her wedding gown and veil. Perhaps that is due to memories of the pouf 'n fluff of Princess Diana's dress and train.

Kate is a modern bride. This past week media has tutored the masses on the lifestyle of Britain's most famous newlyweds. She cooks. He puts his own toothpaste on the brush unlike his father. No servants. They lead an ordinary life and will live in a five room cottage in Wales.

Barbara Walters said Kate's family didn't meet the queen until last week. QE2 has a very busy schedule. One can only imagine how the Middleton's felt anticipating that. I remember some trepidation meeting our kids future in-laws. For the first son we ordered 9 yards of rock and relandscaped the house. For the second one, we replaced torn screens and touched up the paint indoors. For the third one we replaced a sliding glass patio door. I think it must have been a lot more work for the Queen to get Buckingham Palace ready to meet the Middleton's. I am sure she had help and then she is only the grandmum, not the parent. I am sure she made a good impression.

The US threw off official royal ties when we rebelled in 1776. We kept some unofficial sentimental attachments to the British. No one does pagaentry like England. Even if America's substitute royalty (movie stars) get adulation when they marry, no one would have a spiffy red military uniform to wear when they marry like Prince William wore. Michael Jackson might have pulled it off, but he wasn't interested in marriage. Our military uniforms are more conservative. We are more practical and discovered it is easier to defeat our enemies in battle if we sneak up in camo than march into battle in red. Maybe that is why we must defend the whole world.

If It Quacks Like a Duck is It Aflac?

The horror of hundreds of deaths from tornados in the south is constantly on the news today only to be softened by gossipy chatter about the anticipated royal wedding. Both of these blockbuster stories almost overshadowed news that Aflac has chosen the new voice of their duck. He lives about 10 miles north of us and is a guy who does voice-overs who has hit the jackpot with his quacky version of the company name.

Aflac. We all recognize it. Before the previous guy was fired for making insensitive remarks about Japan's disaster, I didn't even know who did the duck's voice. Comedian Gilbert Gottfreid had that gig. Here's hoping the new guy will be "Minnesota nice" and not offend.

I did a blogsearch to see what people were saying about the Aflac duck. One of the sites was by a blogster named Kyle Affleck who happens to sell supplemental insurance. Yup, he sells Aflac. If I were him, I would have practiced my duckvoice and applied to be the new spokesduck. Maybe he did. Competition was fierce. 12,000 applied.