The Survey

When I was a working woman I would peruse the monthly report on patient satisfaction surveys. Then I would grumble that the department that did colonoscopies nearly always received 100% satisfaction results from their patients. They gave everyone "drugs". Drugs for pain. Drugs to induce amnesia so they wouldn't remember what was done to them. When they returned their surveys they had only glowing praise for the staff and experience. In ER we had great marks but didn't hit 100%.

Four weeks ago our twin grandbabies were born. Mary and the kids were discharged one at a time. Last week the little guy, Roman Wesley, received a letter from the hospital with a request he complete the survey and return it. The letter was addressed to him; " Dear Roman Wesley B------", and asked for his participation to improve patient satisfaction. His grown up name may have fooled whoever chose the random sample. (One of my friends said he has a name fitting a Supreme Court Judge. Roman Wesley. Quite distinguished.) Mary plans to fill out the survey and return it. I suggested she keep a copy for his baby book. Here are some paraphrased questions:

Did you have a roommate during your hospitalization?

--answer. Yes, several. The first day I think there were 17!

Did your roommate disturb your sleep?

--answer. They were up day and night and sometimes cried.

Did you have any dietary restrictions?

--answer. Yes, I have no teeth.

Were you satisfied with your stay at ___________hospital?

--answer. Yes, but I have nothing to compare it to.

Was this a planned or unexpected admission?

--answer. A little of each. I was planned but arrived unexpectedly early.

Would you recommend this facility to others?

--answer. I will when I can but I like being home with mom and dad more.